Excusing Myself from the Table: The Leadership Discipline of Saying No By Lana Potgieter, Lighthouse Leadership Coaching & Development Over the past 18 months of building my business in the U.S., I’ve said yes to many things — people, networks, projects, opportunities. I said yes because I was curious. I said yes because I wanted to learn, connect, and grow roots in new soil. And truthfully, many of those “yeses” were exactly what I needed at the time. Each table I sat at offered something valuable — a lesson, a collaboration, or a new way of seeing. But lately, something has shifted. It started when I was asked to switch chairs at one of the tables and I started to re-evaluate the value alignment. That led to re-evaluating every table I was at. And I’ve since begun quietly excusing myself from a few more tables. Not because they’re bad tables

One of my favorite gadgets at home is my new robotic vacuum cleaner. There’s something oddly satisfying about watching it navigate my home—bumping gently into obstacles, pausing, turning slightly left or right, and moving forward again to reassess its path. Then it spins around, recalibrates, and keeps going. It struck me recently: sometimes, that’s exactly what life feels like—maybe yours too? As humans, we value our autonomy. And like those vacuums, we often “learn by doing”, adjusting our course as we go. It’s a trial-and-error process—one we embraced fearlessly as kids. But do we maintain that same level of resilience as adults? Do we still have the grit, or as I call it, the “stick-to-it-ness,” to keep moving and pivot when needed? Since relocating to the USA last year, I’ve found myself in a constant state of recalibration. The learning curve has been steep—challenging, frustrating, and at times disheartening. I